We help people develop and grow with life's challenges

Sex & Intimacy

About sex and intimacy

Sex and intimacy involve emotional connection, physical pleasure, and communication. Difficulties are common across the lifespan and can be influenced by stress, health, relationships, or past experiences. Australian sexual health surveys suggest many people experience concerns with desire or satisfaction at some stage.

How sex and intimacy concerns can show up

  • Desire differences: Mismatched libido between partners or changes in desire over time.
  • Arousal or performance anxiety: Worry about sexual performance or staying present during intimacy.
  • Pain or discomfort: Physical pain that makes intimacy stressful or avoided.
  • Communication and consent: Difficulty talking about needs, boundaries, or preferences.
  • Kink and exploration: Wanting to explore kink or new experiences but feeling unsure or judged.
  • Compulsive patterns: Sexual behaviours or pornography use that feel hard to control or addictive.

Further information about sex and intimacy

  • Desire and arousal: Normal variation across life stages, stress, and health changes.
  • Kink and BDSM: Exploration that is consent-focused and aligned with values.
  • Intimacy after change: Pregnancy, illness, disability, or life transitions can shift intimacy.
  • Trauma impacts: Past experiences can affect safety and pleasure.
  • Compulsive sexual behaviour: Patterns sometimes described as sex addiction.

Self-help ideas for sex and intimacy

  • Talk openly about desires, boundaries, and consent.
  • Reduce pressure by focusing on connection rather than performance.
  • Schedule relaxed time for intimacy and experimentation.
  • Seek medical advice for pain or health-related concerns.
  • Notice triggers and patterns if compulsive behaviours are present.

When to see a psychologist or counsellor

Support can help when sex or intimacy concerns are persistent or distressing.

  • Desire differences are creating ongoing conflict or distance.
  • Pain, anxiety, or avoidance is limiting intimacy.
  • Compulsive sexual behaviour is impacting daily life or relationships.
  • Past trauma is making intimacy feel unsafe or overwhelming.

How we help with sex and intimacy

  • Non-judgmental counselling focused on safety, consent, and connection.
  • Communication skills to discuss needs, boundaries, and desires.
  • Support for kink-affirming exploration and values alignment.
  • Strategies for desire discrepancies and compulsive patterns.
  • Collaboration or referral to sexual health specialists when needed.